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I've Lost My Spark!

Category: Libido/Sex Drive  |  Permalink

Published: Thursday, August 20, 2015



You may have chuckled when you read this heading, but a lady really said this to me and she was in tears. This lady said, "I love my husband with all my heart; I believe God gave him to me and I really want him to be happy, but I just cannot muster up any desire and I feel so bad.  I pretend to be asleep so he just won't touch me.  I'm so disappointed in myself"

Wow!  I wish I had the exact count of how many women have asked this question - probably 50,000 over the years, if not more.  So, even if this is something you don't talk about to your friends, please know you are NOT alone!

I think men would be surprised to see how sad women are over this condition.  Perhaps they think women are just being selfish. This is NOT true.  I see and hear tht there is a great deal of pain involved. Libido is not something that can easily be summoned on command and it is not easy to talk yourself into having desire.  You can totally adore your husband or wife and think they are an absolute gift from God and still not be able to "get in the mood."  What can you do?




GUESS WHAT?  In almost every case for women, IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT!

Researchers estimate that 50% of all women aged 20-65 have experienced low libido and I know this is true... it may be more if you count temporary epidoses.  Yes, libido can be psychological, but there are many physiologic factors that can be overcome to lead you on the road to restoration.




Hormone imbalance



Anxiety / Anxiety Medications


Hot flashes (make it difficult to feel sexy)

Vaginal Dryness (which can easily be helped)

Hysterectomy / Starting on synthetic hormones

Birth Control Pill  (which lower testosterone levels)



     Well, it was inevitable. Pharmaceutical companies have now developed a "Little Pink Pill" which is supposed to be the female Viagra. In June, 2010 the FDA said "no" because the benefits of the drug did not outweigh the side effects, but now the FDA has changed its mind.

     What is the "Little Pink Pill" supposed to do? Raise serotonin levels and dopamine levels in women.  Well, guess what?  You can do that with the supplements 5-HTP and L-Tyrosine.

Read on for more natural help ~


How can I improve my Libido naturally?


5-HTP - natural alternative to the new drug

It increases serotonin levels in the brain which improves which improves desire and arousal. Dose 50-100 mg at night. Works very quickly in just a few days. LIGHT YOUR FIRE AGAIN!


Natural Progesterone


     Low libido has usually been associated with menopause, but it is very common among relatively young women.  Many women have a normal menstrual period indicating the presence of sufficient estrogen, yet still have low libido. This is because the low sex drive is not due to low estrogen, but rather to low progesterone levels or a low progesterone to estrogen ration. If the woman does not ovulate in a given month, she produces no progesterone.

     What does progesterone have to do with libido?  At ovulation, progesterone levels rise and sexual drive is heightened.  This is meant to ensure that a woman will be receptive to procreation.  Remember, progesterone is called The "Feel Good" Hormone.

     For older women with estrogen dominance, they have the uncomfortable symptoms of water retention, fibrocystic breasts, depression, and vaginal dryness.  Who would be in the mood when  feeling depressed, bloated and irritable?  Progesterone can help!

     As I talked to women who have been on progesterone crème, I learned that their low libido had been restored in about 3 months of use, sometimes less. The woman who told me "My sex drive drove off" called and said "It drove back!"  There are so many wonderful testimonials from very happy women.  The men often call, too.  One man brought his wife a year's supply of crème, saying "I'm never going to let her run out of this stuff".  He speaks for many!


Testosterone? Try DHEA instead!

     Until recently, doctors were very willing to prescribe testosterone to improve libido. This treatment has now been discredited  not only because of the masculinizing effects of testosterone, but because testosterone has been shown to contribute to liver damage if used at too high a strength or for too long a period. If you do receive a prescription for testosterone, the common dose for women is 2%.  Be careful with the synthetic drug Estratest if you are looking for bio-identical testosterone.  Estratest contains a synthetic form of testosterone called methyl testosterone.  I believe that the best testosterone is a bio-identical cream form made by a compounding pharmacy.


Great News!

     DHEA has been proven to increase testosterone levels in women, so this is a good choice (unless you have a history of cancer) As an added bonus, supplementing with DHEA increases energy and helps burn "belly" fat! Now, that's my kind of supplement!  The advised dose is between 10-25 mg daily and it can actually double  testosterone levels.  It can also reduce vaginal atrophy.  Men who take DHEA report feeling more amorous.  Some men have said that they feel an increase in libido about 30 minutes after an evening dose.


Tribulus Terrestris

     Studies have shown that tribulus taken for just 5 days increased testosterone levels. It appears to trigger the relase of LH which sends a message to cells to product ore testosterone.  In women, tribulus has also had a favorable effect on loss of interest in sex.  Results will not be immediate in women... you should allow 40-50 days for effects to be noticed.  Other positive changes:  Increase in muscle tone (without increase in exercise). How about THAT?


Avena Sativa "Wild Oats"


     This little product is considered by many researchers to be a true aphrodisiac for both women and men.  It appears to contain substances that have a similar makeup to natural testosterone and works very well in men for both sexual energy and strength of erections.
     Some women who take Avena Sativa report that libido increases "dramatically" and others will not note an increase. This is a supplement you would need to try for yourself.  Fortunately, it is not expensive. Also, an very interesting benefit is that takers have reported that Avena has reduced their cravings for sweets. (but NOT their sweetie!)




     Studies have shown that L-tyrosine(an amino acid) increases the rate at which the brain produces dopamine... just what the "Little Pink Pill" was going to do and it is NATURAL to the body.  Increased dopamine is associated with higher libido.  I love this supplement!  It also suppresses appetite and elevates mood and "feelings of joy" Usual dose is 500  mg 1-2 times daily. I take it daily and so does my husband.




     Women have reported increased sensitivity and lubrication leading to enhancement of libido.  For men, it has been called an herbal alternative to Viagra and is recommended by many physicians for erectile dysfunction.  Men who take it report improvement in erectile function. It has also been found to help increase sperm count. Recommended dose is 500-1000 mg per day.



     Libido can be helped NATURALLY.  The feelings of desire can come back.  Do not give up!  Also, be generous in spirit toward your partner.  God loves a cheerful giver!  You are also protecting your assets! That is YOUR husband (or YOUR wife).  I once had someone ask my husband's secretary if he was married.  She said "yes, he is married" and the woman asked "How married is he?"  Well, let me tell you... I want my husband to feel VERY married! Sometimes just participating can be sexy in itself.




     Remember, also, that if one person wants more sex and one wants less... the "less" person has the power.  Giving up that power can actually be a joyful feeling.  And for more joy feelings, remember L-tyrosine.  And one final tip for weight loss: Grab your Mate instead of Your Plate!


     Libido is not a simple subject, but it is important and I absolutely believe that libido can be restored. I want to help you.  I know things change and change is not bad.  Your sex drive may come back in a more mature manner; different than those overwhelming hormonal feelings of youth.  You are wiser now and your body has undergone some changes.  But we can still feel young and vibrant ! Let's  do our best to keep the intimacy alive for our partner.  Call me if you need more help.  I have more comprehensive handouts on all of the wonderful products I mentioned.  I can email, fax, or mail them to you.




Posted by: Diane Fletcherel
Thursday, April 24, 2014 @ 2:26:15 PM

Thank you Barbara...I have been following you on youtube and decided to try the female libido extract drops you recommended...I have to say they work...yes...would love to try your progesterone cream next. Also, if it is not too much to take at one time, the L-Tyrosine...Oh by the way, I am a 60 yr. old Afro-American female from NYC and I have learned a lot from you. Now I am learning how to eat better. Thank you

Posted by: Tubal Ligation Reversal
Wednesday, May 04, 2011 @ 11:20:02 PM

information well and good ... I like your way of thinking about pregnancy. Thanks for sharing

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